I wanted to start a series that allowed Black women to share their feelings and experiences during COVID-19. It’s no secret this virus is killing Black people at an alarming rate. While watching the news I noticed the absence of Black women’s voices.
We are being hit hard and from every angle, some of us feel alone and feel like nobody understands. It’s my hope that this series will bring us together.
Each installment features a Black woman, I ask the same three questions to each woman featured, and after they answer they share their day.
There is no format to how their day will be shared, some will read as a venting session, some will be poems, and some will read like a list of daily activities or a journal entry. These entries are meant to be a safe space where Black women can freely express themselves.
If you are interested in sharing your day please fill out the form HERE.
ENTRY 3:
Date: April 15, 2020
Name: Casandra Rosario
Age: 30
Location: New York City
Occupation: Small Business Owner
Sharee: How do you feel today?
Casandra: Today, I feel very grateful to be alive and still working on my dream. It’s funny because I was complaining about it yesterday and I realized it was a luxury to complain. I’m seeing a lot of deaths happen to people I’m connected closely to and it’s making all of this more and more real. I am just trying to get back to a space of gratitude and honoring the legacy I want to leave.
Sharee: What have you learned about yourself since the quarantine?
Casandra: I learned that I work so much because it’s one of the few places I feel purposeful. That one really hit hard when I realized the majority of my interest has to do with me being outside, and have some kind of “check off” box to them. Thinking about it now, I’m okay with that, and with how I choose to experience my life but I struggled to do certain tasks that I felt were pointless and I wondered if I’m missing out on the beauty of them.
Sharee: What do you hope changes once the world is up and running again?
Casandra: I hope this helps people create boundaries around what helps them feel safe and sane and what things they must do to access that. We live in a world that reminds us to put ourselves last because “that’s just the way it is” and I hope this has centered some people and allowed them to prioritize self.
A DAY IN THE LIFE ENTRY:
Today I woke up very rested and looking forward to the day ahead. Even though I have no plans to go outside, again, because I really can’t–it still felt like it would be a good day. My mom is high risk so I try to limit my interactions outside. Being stuck indoors is hard for both of us and yesterday, I had a full anxiety attack. I think the days are suffocating me.
But nonetheless, I knew I was going to have to find a decent shirt to put on before my first virtual meeting. One that says “No Susan, I didn’t just get out bed” but ” Yes Chad, I too don’t plan on going anywhere today”–tough choice. I decided to skip out on breakfast since I stayed in bed longer than usual. Lately, I’ve just been making a boiled egg and gulping down some orange juice. If I have time, (and we have nothing but time), I’ll make a real breakfast. My cookbooks are finally being opened.
I was up all last night binging Netflix which I would be doing pre-corona anyway but now it feels like a true rabbit hole. I take a call and tried to sound chipper, great prep for me to turn on my video in a few minutes. I’m still working, either on one task, in between meetings, thinking up strategies, or creating a new to-do list for tomorrow. It’s what I spend my days doing until my mom pops in and tells me to get some rest. I wonder when my stimulus check will hit.
I spent two hours on facetime talking to one of my favorite girlfriends who doesn’t live close, not that I could see her any way but this’ll do for now. Friends text me all day to check-in, to cry, to vent, to laugh, to be. I can’t believe this is really happening to us. But it’s time for lunch.
I make a salad. It’s kale, apples, baked sweet potato, and toasted almonds. Watch out CHOPPED. I’m really trying to use up everything I can find before I need to go to the supermarket again. I’ve avoided it for three weeks since I made the mistake of watching a COVID supermarket tutorial on my last visit, not the best way to avoid a panic attack. I go back to work.
At some point, I have dinner. I also listen to people argue on my block and I can’t help but wonder if someone is going to catch these hands, or catch COVID. Either way, not worth it. Time to look at flights I’m tracking and plan for my future apartment.
Outside is going to open soon and I’m going to be ready. I ask my mom if she wants to do a puzzle, she doesn’t. She’s tired of working on the same puzzle and honestly, so am I. Time to get ready for bed and do this all over again. -Casandra Rosario
NOTE:
If you are a Black woman and want to share your day, fill out the form HERE.
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