Sistah Girls summer is upon us, and in addition to the melanin-enriching Vitamin D the sun provides us with, Mother Nature’s hottest elemental child has added another perk to its seasonal visit.
Ya girl is talking about the newest addition to men’s fashion that has brothas far and wide hitting the gym to strut their stuff; serving all the BDE you can handle.
What clothing item is guilty for this newfound induction of women’s lusty thoughts and daydreams? According to Damita Jo’s internet, this scandalous fashion is called Hoochie Daddy shorts.
A Hoochie Daddy short is said to fall three to five inches above the knee, come in a variation of colors, and show just enough extra to make the ladies at the gas station forget they’re not at a male review show. This naughty-but oh so nice to look at-daily wear is a new trend for men nationwide who have no issue showing what their zaddy’s gave them.
With this trend taking over the internet, TV, and, our favorite dip off from reality; books, it got this Sistah Girl to thinking about all her book boyfriends and how they would look in this new style.
Take a minute to grab your fermented grapes, make sure the kiddos are occupied, and prepare yourselves as ya favorite Midwest Gypsy presents to you a few book bae’s you’d want to see in Hoochie Daddy shorts…
Raymond Sosa Pierre
“Beautiful, I’m forty years old. I don’t deal with girls. Only women and I prefer mine with big pretty ass lips, wide hips, and huge appetites for whatever I decide to feed them,” he replied with his big hands resting in his lap.
A man whose kiss is written as “dangerous” to one’s mental health.🤯 With a bedroom performance so lethal that only those who’ve been blessed to experience it can call him by his birth name, Sosa (because Raymond is reserved for his lady Jo) is without question a book bae. ✅
From the first Usher Raymond Love in This Club moment, zaddy Sosa had the pages of this book H-O-T, HOT! For this grown and sexy book bae, I would pay top dollar to see him striding along the Cristal Beach ocean shore in a pair of sky blue Hoochie Daddy shorts. 😜
A Goon For Christmas by M. Monique
“I loved that she had the face of an angel, but the bite of the devil. I needed that type of female by my side. One who wasn’t gon’ play about me. ‘Cause I damn sure wasn’t gon play about Gin.”
Cocky, rich, and so darn handsome are just three of the attributes that made me instantly categorize M. Monique’s character Legend Sneaux as a book bae. ✅
Even though Legend comes off as a complete meany, he is actually a sweetheart boss in training. The only thing missing from his reign is a woman to share everything with. That woman is equally cocky and appropriately named Ginger Frost.
Now the icing on the goon…I mean cake, was when I read that this man had the gull, the nerve, the audacity to be bow-legged!! Let’s just say a Sistah Girl had to sip something stronger than liquid grapes to hold her barrings.
For me, it’s a no-brainer that Legend Sneaux should be rocking a pair of emerald green Hoochie Daddy shorts to represent all the money he has and all the new life he’s sure to create with his leading lady. 💸
To Be Loved (The Things Unseen Book 2) by K. Lashaun
“From his rough, calloused hands, to the beard coating his strong jawline, brawny build, and chiseled muscles… Everything about Latan Calloway screamed man.”
Chiiillleee, there is NO WAY we can talk about book bae’s and Hoochie Daddy gear and not bring up the being that is K. Lashaun’s drool-inducing male lead, Lathan Calloway.
This giant of a man is a protector in every sense of the word. His calm demeanor gives the impression that he is often not paying attention. However, once you read about his pursuit of his closed-off boss, Remedy Sinclair, it becomes quite obvious that big zaddy Lathan sees all and then some. ✅
Lathan was a book bae from the first time he chuckled at one of Remedy’s attempted intimidation tactics. But his arrival as a need to see in a pair of dust rose pink Hoochie Daddy shorts comes from the way he softened Lashaun’s female lead and made her open…To Be Loved.
Love and the Business: Amaya and Quincy by Vanessa Moore
“I had been a part of that hustle once upon a time. I might have even been her introduction to it. I knew there were better things to do though. Especially when Kamarah was born.”
One of the most appealing qualities of a book bae is his ability to take care of business. That’s where Vanessa Moore’s character; music producer, father, and all-around nice guy, Quincy, take center stage.
A man with a past, Quincy strives to be a good father, strengthen his skills as a producer, and build something with a new woman in his life. Everything about his character reminded me of Love & Basketball’s Quincy McCall (ironic no). Moore’s male lead definitely gave 90s boy next door energy. ✅
For this brotha, I would feel as though I would be doing a true disservice if I didn’t put him in a grey pair of Hoochie Daddy shorts. Something classic yet still appealing, just like book bae Quincy. 😘
I Should’ve Chosen You (In Secrets We Trust Book 2) by Chelsea Maria
“Knowing that he loved me in spite of my choices made the sun appear in my clouds of gloom. His last words took my breath away and caused my heartbeat to spiral out of control. ‘I’m coming to get you’.”
Sistah Girls, hear me when I tell say that Chelsea Marie wrote one h-e-quadruple hockey sticks of a book bae when she penned Pacino Luciano. ✅
A murderer with a heart that beats for one woman and one woman only, Pacino’s determined, fine self is authorized to carry more than his steel heat; if you know what I mean. So long as his holster is a pair of fire truck red Hoochie Daddy shorts.
Because what else would pair so nicely with the white panties he had hanging from his mouth on Christmas? 😜 #IYKYK.
Boyden “Bizzy Boy” Miller
Protostar Star by Sheopatra Smith
“Duchess, I’ve never seen anyone look more flawless than you.”
“Well you needed it, so I had to give it to you. I’m always gon’ give you what you need, then.”
If the nicknames he gives to his lady Nia Badi aren’t enough to classify Boyden as a book bae worthy of needing to be seen in Hoochie Daddy anything, then the way that Sheopatra Smith’s male lead navigates his traumas and hurts in the story to make sure he can luxuriously love his lady certainly puts him on the board. ✅
I don’t know about you all, but in my opinion, handling the woman in your life with pure intention is the definition of BDE. Thus I have it settled with myself that chocolate-toned superstar Bizzy Boy would look muy delicioso in a pair of lavender Hoochie Daddy shorts. 🥰
Feel Me In The Dark by Tucora Monique
“You know I love you, right?” “Yes,” I spoke softly.
“How do you know, Finley?” I stared up and fingered his beard. “Because even when it’s dark, I can feel it.”
Ok forget, BDE, we are going to award Mr. Preach, with the honor of having GSE (good str*ke energy)! ✅
This book bae was one for the money; encapturing Finley and my heart with every turn of the page. Though the pair’s meeting was as unconventional as a two-headed horse, even Uncle Stevie Wonder could see the chemistry between Finley and our book bae Preach.
Sunflower yellow Hoochy Daddy shorts are the only thing I deem appropriate for a man who talks you through your arrival and waits right on the other end to praise you for a job well done. 😝
Mister Librarian (The Mister Series Book 1) by B. Love
“He cupped my cheeks and wiped my tears with his thumbs. His eyes were so pretty… and shiny. Coffee brown in color. They were surrounded by long, curly lashes and thick, bushy brows.”
“We’re going to get your money and an apology too.”
Sistah Girls, I don’t know about you all, but this woman here LOVES it when Black men make it their business to protect Black women. Which is exactly what B. Love’s male lead, Khalil Roberts did for his leading lady, Honey Williams. ✅
A protector by nature, and self-proclaimed book bae, Khalil belongs in a pair of Hoochie Daddy shorts that blend with everything.
Therefore, I am placing the intoxicating Mr. Librarian in a pair of all-black Hoochie Daddy shorts. Leaving other clothing as very much optional, so long as he has a book in hand, you’ll get no complaints out of me. 😉
THAT’S ALL SISTAH GIRLS
Well Sistah Girls, I have reached the last book bae for now. Did any of your book baes make the list? Feel free to let me know which one of your literary boyfriends you would love to see in what kind of Hoochie Daddy shorts.
Until next time, remember, tis the season for BLUE SKIES AND MUSCLED THIGHS.
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