While re-watching the past season of “Being Mary Jane” I was up to episode 5 “No Eggspectations.” In this episode Mary Jane has been taking fertility treatments with hopes of being able to have a child. On the show Mary Jane is 38, single, never been married, and currently has no kids. In America and in many countries and cultures that resume is shunned upon. Thee only thing that might be her saving grace and keeps people from wondering why she has all but committed herself to a mental institution is the fact that she has a banging career. In once scene after Mary Jane gets the news that her egg count is low she comes back home where her “best friend” Dr. Hudson and she says, “You work like a dog and if you were serious about having a baby you wouldn’t be running around like a hamster on a wheel.” Mary Jane then responds, “How else am I supposed to afford a child?”
If Mary Jane were a guy this wouldn’t even be a discussion, she would be praised for working like a dog so to speak and everyone would congratulate her on all of her success. I had to think to myself, will kids be in the cards for me because I want a successful career? When you are climbing the ladder to get to your version of success it takes a lot of time and dedication. When do you stop to find the time to have a family? And if you do get the husband and kids can you dedicate time to both without one suffering. That has always been a concern of mines, I don’t think having a family and a career is impossible but I wonder if the family will suffer because of the career. And why is delaying getting married and having kids so looked down upon, I promise you I get asked at least a dozen times from family members and perfect strangers about when I am going to go forth and multiply.
People rarely ask about my hopes and dreams outside of marriage and kids, because I am a woman you feel that is the number thing on my to do list? Yes, I do want to get married and have children…one day, but I also want a banging ass career that I am proud of. I want to travel and be selfish with my time, and yes before you say it I know you can have a family and do all of those things, but it is still very different. And then I think about the time escaping me, for instance Tyra Banks just let the world know that she has been trying to have kids and it’s been hard…watch the video below…
While I felt sad for her I did the one thing that I am sure Tyra doesn’t do I looked at the comments. While a lot of people were sensitive to what she was going through some people just went on and on that it was her fault. Tyra made it clear that she kinda kept putting off having kids and then when she was ready it became hard. Unlike men women have a ticking time clock when it comes to having babies, and for Tyra she is 41, it can be a challenge at that age to get pregnant. So then it comes back to my original thought/question, can women have it all? Or do we have to choose? I just want to Mary Jane…with the husband and kid someday, is that too much to ask. Apparently it is.
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